Jumanji

"After all, we all have our frames, our boundaries of perception, into which we only allow certain notions of truth that resonate with our levels of education, spiritual understanding, experience. And the true art lies in respecting the frames of others, plying those borders with words of polite wisdom, all while still able to enjoy the same wine."
-Mark Morford

I know my fanaticism with Mark Morford is a bit ridiculous. But, I haven't come across another columnist who captures my interest so consistently and profoundly.

In other news...

I am really getting into books on tape. I've never been a big fan, but lately I am quite enthusiastic about them. I've been searching all the torrent sites to find new downloads for my ipod. I didn't think it was possible, but I like them even better than music while power walking. It gives me something new to look forward to instead of the same old emo/hip hop hits that plague my workout playlist.

Speaking of power walking, I have a power walking partner! Lately I have been power walking to the local mall to get a healthy, low-cal, fruit smoothie for breakfast. After all, what could possibly be a better workout motivation than food? Oh, the irony! And my co-worker, Grace, asked if I want to power walk with her in the morning. So, now we meet every Mon, Wed and Fri and walk to Gangnam for our healthy smoothies. It is about a hour and 20 minutes round trip and on Fridays we add an extra hour by hiking a small hill/park near our house. And the best part is that Grace isn't a flake. We set walking dates and we stick to them! And since we missed yesterday because of rain, Grace called to see if I wanted to get up early today to make up for yesterday! So, at 6:45am I pulled myself out of bed and power walked! I can feel all the walking in my very tired legs, but it's the good kind of pain.

Speaking of rain, monsoon season is fast approaching. I have to admit that I would not have known the definition of the word "monsoon" if not for childhood classic movie, Jumanji (Every month at the quarter moon, there will be a monsoon in your lagoon). Yesterday I got my first taste of the season. I woke to pouring rain and dressed for the awful weather. Long sleeved shirt and pants. A sweatshirt. A hat. Thick socks. Tennis Shoes. I stepped outside and I was BOILING! It was sticky and hot and RAINING?!? How could this be? Rain = cold weather! But, I was very wrong. I put on a sundress, flip flops and grabbed an umbrella. My second outfit was much more appropriate and far more comfortable when the clouds cleared a few hours later and the sun beat down.

I have now officially witnessed the childhood cliche of children eating paste. Classic.

Today in class I faced a bit of an obstacle. I was teaching third graders and the debate topic was based on the book we have been reading, "The Worst Christmas Pageant Ever." The topic was "Christmas should be abolished." This seems like a relatively mundane topic, but Christmas involves things like Jesus and Santa. Both are a bit tricky with a bunch of third graders. I ended up accepting the premise that Santa does exist and I carefully avoided the Jesus topics. It wasn't my finest debate hour, accepting the existence of a mythical creature and avoiding the discussion of potentially another mythical creature. But, I can only do my best and remember that perfection isn't a reasonable goal.

As I write this one of my kids is getting distracted from his essay writing. He is eating his eraser. He actually has crumbs of eraser on his face. Maybe I should inquire if he'd be interested in any lead paint chips as an appetizer.

There comes a point when it is acceptable to eat American fast food in a foreign country. When you first arrive in a foreign country it seems like an abomination to eat at an American establishment after having traveled so far. After a few months you openly enjoy American food, but still consider it a sign of weakness and aren't proud of your laziness. However, there comes a point when the tables turn and American food becomes foreign. It is refuge from your typical meals. And at that point, eating American food no longer makes you feel guilty. (Well, at least not for reasons other than the calorie count.) I am finally a guilt-free American food eater.

I coughed today and felt a slight sting in my throat. Please please please do not let the yellow sand come back and rip apart my esophagus. Please. Please. Please.

Every now and then I see a grown-up who looks very similar to one of my students. That person always catches my attention. I want to examine their clothes and any other visible clues that might tell about their life. It's like I'm trying to figure out how my students will grow up. Of course, my reaction is completely illogical. But, the question of "Who will these students become?" is constantly in the back of my mind and my brain seems to be looking for an answer.

And finally, a quick story from before I left for Korea. I was in the doctor's office getting my blood pressure taken three days before I would leave. The nurse was hooking up the strap to my arm and we were chatting about my trip. I couldn't stop talking about my plans. She took my pressure as I continued to rave. The nurse's jaw dropped, my blood pressure was through the roof! She couldn't believe it! She told me to stop talking about Korea and she would take my pressure again. I sat quietly and the second time my blood pressure was normal. In other words, my heart pounded and blood literally rushed through my veins when I spoke about Korea... Even then I knew it was a good sign!

Burns Tower...

I saw the new Indiana Jones movie last night. As you might know (but probably don't), University of the Pacific's Burns Tower makes an appearance in Raiders of the Lost Ark. And, much to my delight, it made THREE appearances in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Just keep an eye on the background when Indy and his gang are walking on the univestity campus. You'll notice a tall white tower... Go Tigers!

Holden Caulfield...

Because anything less subtle would violate our relationship's unwritten rules.


"And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff- I mean if they are running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day."

Seoul Survivor...

I'm back. Even the perfect, golden, California sun couldn't keep me from Korea!

Before I get into the very eventful details of my trip, let me make a few shout outs.

First, to all the people who caught up on my blog in preparation for my arrival. I don't expect anyone to read my blog like it's the daily New York Times or even the bi-weekly (and totally awesome) Mark Morford column, but for those of you who check in every now and then... Thanks. It feels good to think that I'm not just writing this for my (mental) health.

Second, to my hagwon friends. None of them read this, but they really went out of their way to save my skin when I missed my flight. (More on that story later!) With all the horror stories about teachers who end up in awful schools with shady staff and teachers, I got really lucky. No joke.

Third, to my brother. Wow. This kid doesn't quit. He lent me his car. (A loud, stick shift Suburu that was unbelievably fun to drive!) He let me stay at his house three different times. He took his girlfriend and me out to dinner. And, he even picked me up from BART and waited with me at the DMV. What a guy, right? What a guy!

As for my trip... It was a blessing in so many ways. I got my Korean VISA so I can stay here through May 2009. I met my little brother's new girlfriend. I visited old debate and tennis friends. I had lunch with my dad out on the patio. I saw my mom's new store. I went shopping. I got lost in (beautiful) San Francisco. I got to drive a loud and fast sports car through the Calaveras County hills.

However, the trip wasn't all fun and games. I was suppose to return to Korea on Friday morning. That didn't happen... Here's why. Bright and early Friday morning I headed into San Francisco to pick up my Korean VISA and head to SFO. Having visited the Korean Consulate several times I was confident that I could find my way. I was wrong. Luckily, a few helpful gas station clerks pointed me in the right direction. After picking up my VISA I was ready to head to the airport. However, I clearly had not learned my lesson. Assuming I knew the way back to Highway 101 and knowing I had already lost time due to my last series of wrong-turns, I decided to forgo the Google directions I had printed the night before and hastily drove off. It only took a few minutes for me to realize my error, but it was too late. I was off the grid; off the Google map grid at least. But, once again kind gas station attendents saved the day and I soon was on my way to SFO. But, all the wrong turns had put me behind schedule. I returned the car, hauled my luggage to the international terminal, pulled out my ticket and rushed up to the counter where a nice lady informed me I was too late. Too late?!? How could that be? I was running a little behind, but my flight wasn't scheduled to take off for an hour! This nice lady informed me that actually my flight wouldn't take off for another 54 minutes to be exact. But, the check-in counter closed one hour prior to take-off. I was 6 minute late! I begged. I pleaded. I used every tool of persuasion I knew. No use. She had no sympathy and refused to let me on the plane. And so, I missed my flight! And then... My face turned a sick shade of green and I started to panic.

TANGENT: Before I continue, let me explain my fifteen second rule. As a general rule, I don't believe in panicing. It doesn't solve problems. It leads to irrational decision-making. And it makes all problems worse, or at least seem worse. But, there are some moments when I can feel panic well-up inside me. That sick combination of despair, rage, hopelessness and terror starts to flood my senses. And after having experienced a few of these moments, I've adopted a fifteen second rule. I give myself fifteen second to panic. Fifteen second to feel defeated, scared and incapable. But, after the fifteen second are spent... No more. No more complaining. No more terror. No more damsel-in-distress. And, it works. It makes me feel in control. It's a quick reminder that if I control the panic, then I can control the problem.

Now, back to the story. So, I employed my fifteen seconds rule. I didn't know how to get back to Korea. I hadn't transferred extra money from my Korean bank account to my US bank account to cover the extra costs. I didn't know how my school would react to the "convenient" mistake that gave me three extra days to spend with my family. I didn't have a rental car reserved. I didn't have a cell phone to contact my family. But, after the fifteen seconds I moved into problem-solver mode. I booked the next available (and reasonalbly priced) flight. I found a computer to transfer funds. I hunted for a rental car and a pay phone to call my family. I started the long trek back to Copperopolis. And when I ran into awful, Friday afternoon traffic I parked my car under a shady tree and took a much-needed nap until the traffic cleared.

The truth is, despite missing my flight, the extreme cost and the awful day that followed... I was so lucky to get to spend more time with family and friends. It was a blessing in disguise. It also gave me a chance to spend more time in Stockton and Pleasanton which only re-affirmed the correctness of my choice to move to Seoul. There was nothing left for me in California. I needed something to inspire and challenge me again, and I have truely found that in Seoul. When I finally arrived at the airport on Tuesday to board my new flight, I was so excited. I couldn't wait to get on the plane to Seoul. It felt like I was going home.

I finally arrived back at my Seoul apartment 25 hours after I had left California. It was a very very long trip and I was a walking zombie by the time I arrived home, but I guess that is best part of traveling. Your bed never feels softer than when you have been trying to sleep in airports and plane seats for the past day.

As for my school, I've already mentioned how fantastic my co-workers and supervisors were. But, the nicest part was some of the students. A few of them asked me how I enjoyed my trip. Others asked if we could finish the lesson early so that I could tell them about California. But, I have to mention one girl in particular, Sally.

Sally is five years old and is in a very small class of just two girls. She speaks very poor English and is often very independent and sometimes a bit moody. She has never been the affectionate type. I had missed three of Sally's classes while in the United States. When I showed up in class today Sally looked very sad. And as we began our lesson Sally, without saying a word, got up from her desk and walked over to stand beside my chair. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I put my arm around her and she instantly climbed up on my lap and leaned her head against my shoulder. I almost didn't know how to react, so I just kept teaching and Sally followed along in my book. She was sad that I had left for so long. Later, during a break in the class when I tried to leave the room, Sally ran over and hugged me. She wouldn't let go. It was a bit unexpected, but it felt good to be missed!

White Girl Dancing...

Very fun evening.

I went to a French restaurant with the cute boy. We sat outside on the terrace, drank wine and ate great seafood. Then we went to Seoul Pub. This is one of the many foreigner bars in Itaewon. We played darts, met some other friends and then went dancing.

At the dance club I was fixing my hair in the bathroom. About a dozen girls were trying to steal a piece of the mirror. All of a sudden a great song started playing and almost as if it were choreographed, all the girls started moving, mini-dancing as they applied their makeup or washed their hands. And someone yelled out, "It's a bathroom dance party!" We spent the rest of the song dancing in the bathroom, having our own dance party. It was hilarious!

At the dance club I was walking back from the bathroom dance party I ended up walking right into a couple guys from Africa who were awesome dancers. Really really good. I wasn't really paying attention, but one of them kinda confronted me... but not in a mean or aggressive way. In a dance-off sort of way. It was the strangest thing, so I just started dancing. Dancing like I've never danced before. And the guy danced right back at me. The other guys were just watching and I'm sure I wasn't very impressive, but it was so much fun. And after a few minutes, after I'd given every move I had (and would probably have had to resort to the funky-chicken dance move next), the guy gave me a great big smile, a high five and hug. And the other guys gave me high fives too. It was like the cool kids letting the nerdy kid play with them for a while. And once again I have to say... Only in Seoul. This stuff only happens in Seoul!

But, speaking of being a white girl. I was getting my nails done at my favorite beauty salon and the two Korean ladies working on my toes started laughing. One of them looked at my arm and started comparing her skin color to mine. I couldn't understand what she was saying, but then the other lady pulled up my pant leg and compared her skin color to my legs. I assumed they were laughing at me, which is not unusual. But, later on I was telling the story to one of my Korean friends and she corrected me. They weren't laughing at me, they were probably wishing their skin was as pale as mine. Koreans, especially women, want to be pale and they often wear clothes and hats to protect their skin from the sun. In fact, some women even buy whitener for their skin to help make their skin even more pale. So, I guess it is no wonder why I like it here. I'm practically translucent I'm so pale, but I've moved to the one place where it is attractive to look like you've never seen the light of day! I guess it is just a classic case of the grass being greener!

In other news... I suck at darts. I really really suck. I have played seven games against the cute guy, not including the times we have been a team against other people in the bar, and I have lost every time! And this isn't a case of me losing to soothe the guy's ego (As if I would ever lose on purpose... I'm a winner god damn it!). I just suck. I usually start out strong, maybe a couple triple 11's or a scattered 19 or 20, but then I become a queen of the triple 2 or the double 3. So in short... I end up buying a lot of rounds of drinks! After all, loser always buys. Maybe we need to change up our activities... Maybe a good ol' fashion debate! A couple Prime Minister constructive speeches, some crushing points of information, a good topicality arguments and a killer rebuttal! Now that sounds like a good way to keep a guy interested... After all, what guy in their right mind doesn't think debate is hot! Exactly!

Well, it's the final countdown. At this time tomorrow I will be on a plane headed to Japan. (And then on a plane header to the US.) I am so excited! Except, that I had a bunch of cool little presents to bring home and I realize I can't bring any of them with me. I'm only taking a small carry-on so bottles of soju and cool chopsticks will all get confiscated at airport security. Damn. I guess I'll just have to save the presents for my next trip home and the family will just have to settle for lots of pictures.

And finally... It's Mother's Day and my mom is definitely worth celebrating! My mom is just awesome. Really really awesome. She is smart, very funny, a great listener and gives advice that is golden. And the older I get, the cooler my mom gets! (Funny how that works!) And this year the whole family has even more reason to be proud of her. She just opened her own store. That's right, my mom has added a new feather to her cap... She's a businesswoman. Her store sells kitchen items and is called... wait for it... "Fancy Pans." Too cute! The grand opening was last week and I haven't seen the store, but I already love it!

She's Back...

That's right... I'm back. No more complaining. No more whining. No more pouting. Things are lookin' good and lookin' up!

First, I am visiting home next week. Wow! At this time next week I'll be driving, or eating Mexican food with my little brother, or seeing my Mom's new store, or walking through the new town my Dad built, or calling Cynthia without a 16 hour time difference, or sitting on my parent's back porch drinking wine soaking in the California view while I read the entire last four months of the Economist and Time.

Of course, I am going to have to travel for about 16 hours to get from Seoul to Pleasanton and Copperopolis, but I don't care if it is 160 hours! And I am spending less than a week in California, but I am going to make the most of every minute. Not to mention... I gain 16 hours because of the time difference! I actually arrive in California two hours before I leave Korea.

Onto other news...

1. Have you heard? According to John Walters, director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy, "Marijuana is a more consequential substance of abuse than our culture has treated it in the last 20 years. This is not just youthful experimentation that they'll get over as we used to think in the past." He goes on to explain that marijuana leads to mental illness, depression, dependency and a wide range of other afflictions.

Now, I'm all for responsible drug policy. But, I thought the days of Reefer Madness were behind us. Seriously.

2. I am getting sick of the subway. This is really bad news because it isn't even summer yet. The subways have tons of stairs, are crowded and I have to transfer two or three times to get where I want to go. But, they are also getting warmer. During winter this was a welcome relief from the cold, but now I am sweating up a storm. But, that isn't the real problem. The real problem is that OTHER people are sweating up a storm. For the avid readers of my blog (all three of you) you know that deodorant isn't all that popular in Korea. No deodorant. Hot crowded subways. You do the math.

3. But, with the heat comes cute clothes. I am going to get ALL of my summer clothes that are packed away, just waiting for me back home! I CAN'T wait. I am going to wear skirts and t-shirts and shorts. But the most important piece of clothing... My Reef Flip Flops. Oh, how I miss those! Now, for those of you who are rolling your eyes right now at my exaggerated statements about clothes... I don't have an excuse. It's silly that I am so excited, but I just can't wait to stop wearing sweaters and jeans!

4. Here is my prediction... I just don't think Pam and Jim are going to get engaged. I'm a bit hesitant to say it because it seems so obvious, but that is why I have to say it. I hope it happens. And most every season finale has had an awesome Jim and Pam escalation (Season 2: The Kiss. Season 3: The Date. Season 4: ?) But, what I really want is an Angela and Dwight escalation. I am missing the Dwangela action.

And finally... It is good to have my optimism back. For a few days there I was feeling low. Being sick in a strange place will do that to you. But, my co-workers said something really funny the other day and I just couldn't stop laughing. It was like the laughter had been accumulating, waiting for me to relax and let it out. The ice cracked and once I started, I just couldn't stop.

I'm back.

Catch 22...

I'm having one of those rare days where I just want to go back home, put on my pajamas and go back to bed. Just give up on this day and give it another try tomorrow. Here are few things that make me crabby...

I am starting to feel sick. I tried to go to the doctor today and got lost. Since I got lost, I had to make an appointment for another day. I didn't sleep in today so that I could make it to the appointment. But, I really needed the sleep because I'm getting sick. I ended up with no doctor and no sleep. What a total waste!

I am wearing new shoes. But, since they aren't worn-in yet, they are making my feet feel like bloddy stumps. Actually, having a pair of bloody stumps would probably be more comfortable than these damn shoes.

The cute guy asked me out again tonight after work. Good news, right? But, I feel sick. So, I don't want to go and be germy and gross. Not to mention, sick means no kissing. Give a girl a break!

I teach a class of really smelly kids today.

I was late to work. I really hate that.

But, I think I may just be in a rotten mood for the sake of being in a rotten mood. I'm happy there is a new episode of The Office, but I have a date so I'm angry I have to wait to see it later. But, since I'm sick I should just stay home and watch The Office. But, if I stay home I'm happy to watch my show, but angry because I'm not on my date. Like I said... pissy for the sake of being pissy.

I'm going to go take it out on my kids... An entire class of essay writing and vocabulary practice!