Korea celebrates Valentine's Day, but with about 1/8 the intensity of the United States. There are hearts and chocolate, but the stores don't turn into pink and red vortexes, sucking you in and forcing you to buy stuffed bears and wilted flowers. Instead, a few days before V-day candy displays become slightly more prominent and bakery windows seem to showcase significantly more chocolate.
But, there are no valentines and candy hearts passed out at schools. No expensive flowers on desks. There are no sexy women in store windows beckoning men to buy uncomfortable lingerie in the hopes their significant other will actually turn into Gisele Bundchen once they (figure out how to) put it on.
It is just a nice holiday. A day when I got a great e-card Valentine from my Dad (which made my whole day!) and treated myself to an ice cream cone on my way home from work.
Onto other observations...
I may have mentioned this before, but there is something incredibly fascinating about the confidence I've gained while in Korea. There are a variety of factors which have led to my increased sense of empowerment, so let me throw out a few random, loosely related thoughts...
1. I don't have to try to be unique.
In high school and college I used to wear thick black rimmed "emo" glasses for fun. I loved them. I used to call them my "thunder glasses." However, I had perfect vision and didn't need glasses. I just liked being different. And even in moving to South Korea... I wanted to be different. Simply spending three months touring Europe or rushing right off to a corporate job after graduation would be too stereotypical. I'd be just like every other 20-something college graduate. The desire to be different often plays a significant (something too significant) role in my decision making calculus. Often serving as both my greatest strength and weakness. But, here in Korea, I am already different. Korea is one of the most homogenous regions in the world with about 1% foreigners. I am different than 99% of the population without even trying. I can hardly describe how radical and empowering it is to feel wholly unique without having to make any effort.
2. I don't have a peer group.
I exist in a place without other women who look like me. When I open magazines, turn on the television, walk down the street or observe models in store windows... I don't see women who look like me. And I am amazed by how comfortable I feel.
In the United States there is a general consensus that women can be vicious and competitive with one another. (Just watching how women interact in American bars or dance clubs would be enough to substantiate my claim.) But, I live in a place where I don't feel threatened or even competitive. I wear jeans and my favorite Converse tennis shoes to the bar and out dancing. (And I go home without any blisters!) I don't feel the need to be skinnier, sexier or more seductive than the other women. I'm just out to have a good time. And I do! In fact, I spoke with another foreigner here who made a similar observation. A Muslim woman commented that she feels totally comfortable wearing her hijab at the bars and clubs because she doesn't feel judged. And when surrounded by people who feel comfortable with themselves it creates a new type of peer group and pressure. But, that is the type of group I'm willing to join.
Onto other news...
I met a really cool group of people a couple nights ago. I'm going to hang out with them again tonight and on Saturday. How cool! In fact, that wasn’t my only interesting experience. On my way to meet this group, I ran into another guy on the subway. He thought I looked lost (I probably did) and he asked if he could help me find the train. We chatted for a few minutes, exchanges numbers and he's going to email me some cool websites. He wasn’t hitting on me, just helping me out. How often does that happen in the US?
And finally, I've saved the very best for last....
My (not-so) little brother turns 21 on Feb 17th. I won't be there. I think that might be the most disappointing part of my entire trip to Korea. Nonetheless... He is the coolest brother anyone could ask for and I am so glad he has great friends who will take good care of him. Happy Birthday Mike! I love you very very much.
In honor of Mike's birthday I am posting one of my all-time favorite pictures of the two of us...
(P.S. Mike, if you are reading this... I wanted to post the picture Mom took of the two of us from back in high school when you are giving me a piggy-back ride out in the back yard. You know the one I'm talking about, right? I just can't find it on my laptop. It is my all-time favorite pictures of the two of us!)
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